COVID-19 has changed everything. Streets are empty. Formerly crowded parks are dead. People are bored. To protect precious human life–a necessary cause–we’ve cancelled our lives.
Now everyone’s going stir crazy.
Right at the forefront of this chaos is the death of something very, very important: our human connections. It’s almost like one little mass pandemic makes people want to hang out less. I don’t get it…
Kidding. Social distancing is necessary, yada yada yada. I know.
However, I don’t want this point to be lost. Just because we are socially distant doesn’t mean we’re any less socially dependent. Science shows over and over that humans are social beings (yes, even you introverts!), and, as far as I am aware, coronavirus symptoms do not include being antisocial. Right now, people still need connection.
The Second Danger
People have been feeling alone long before this disease struck. Health experts refer to this as the “loneliness epidemic” afflicting the United States and other rich countries. Younger people are spending less time with others and feeling worse off as a consequence. Loneliness also happens to a significant predictor of suicide risk.
I’ve lived in isolation, and I’ve aided on the front lines to people struggling with loneliness. It’s real.
It’s so real that while I recognize the first danger of coronavirus is death, the second danger is social isolation.
Think. Millions of people cut off from their friends, (extended) family, and co-workers. Most lines to outside contact, gone. Normal social activities like going to class or work, whoosh, gone. If you live alone or your family isn’t social, you’re alone. Just separation from friends might be enough for many to feel alone.
And loneliness isn’t something any human should experience. It’s not okay; it’s dangerous.
Don’t Let Your Communities Bleed Out
What I fear the most isn’t throngs of young adults dying from loneliness-associated conditions. I’m concerned about the wear-and-tear loneliness can have on all of us in this unprecedented time. If local communities are the basic building block of humanity, physical distancing is the hurricane coming to blow away our foundations.
It will be easy to forget about each other.
This forgetfulness will make it hard to remember what good community is supposed to be like.
Losing good communities will be terrible for everyone everywhere.
Social distancing is poised to be a cascade undermining the hard work we’ve all put into our friend groups, work environments, classes, churches, and more.
Guess what? This isn’t inevitable. There’s a really, really simple solution. So simple, easy, and quick you’re probably doing it already. If you aren’t, you’ll wonder why you’re not.
Regularly schedule Skype calls (or calls with any video platform) with friends.
I’m advocating for video calls because it requires intentionality. It’s also probably the best form of digital connection available. Phone calls are okay too, but I would discourage only texting. Texting requires little effort, and texting doesn’t communicate, “I care about you!” as much as organizing a video call might.
Video calling others communicates “I value you enough to stay in contact even though it would be easier to do nothing” and “I want our community to stay together despite physical distancing”. These are two wonderful messages we can send to each other during this pandemic.
Additionally, be consistent. Regular social interaction is necessary for a healthy community. During COVID-19, that’s gonna look like regular video calls. Get to it!
Post-Coronavirus, Remember Coronavirus
As a society, I predict the first thing we’ll do post-Coronavirus is forget about it.
The economy will boom. People will come out of their COVID-holes. Conferences will return in full strength.
We’ll ask, “Coronavirus who?”
Maybe I’m dead wrong. However, it’s certainly true that it’s easiest to be aware of something when you’re in the midst of it. It’s obvious that we need to be intentional about keeping our communities together now, but will anyone remember this vital lesson when all is said and done?
When we have our communities back, we need to remember coronavirus and everything we learn during it. That means continue to be intentional in your community forever. Just as a Skype call now says how much you care, so will continued intentionality.
Today’s extra content is on a topic I briefly considered writing this article about but decided not to as it would have been awful and boring beyond belief (coming from me). Instead, here’s a solid article on talking to socially anxious people.
Ironically, many socially competent people would benefit from learning to do this. There’s no space for my reasoning behind this, unfortunately. Just take my word for it.
QOTD: How have you been staying connected during the COVID-19 outbreak?
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