Details of this story have been altered to preserve the lessons while providing reasonable anonymity to the people here.
Mirth and lightness really hovered over my conversation with A* as we overlooked a wonderful, green campus bustling with people. We had classic Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets and fries on the table, and the summer heat glazed us with its comforting warmth. A* and I talked life, faith, dreams, and back through those topics.
He poked fun at me. I laughed. It was a great time with a good friend on a good day in a good season.
“So, Myron, what do you think about dating?” A* said. He peered into my eyes, and bombshells dropped in my mind.
Listen, love was weird. I enjoyed discussing it, and, honestly, it made for some of the best conversations I ever had. However, boiling underneath my candor and “wise” responses was exhaustion. I was tired. For one day, I wanted to have a probing conversation about me and A*, not her and how to get her. I wanted the beauty and raw connection linking two friends together like a tight rope of honesty; I didn’t want to be someone’s relationship advisor.
“This is a difficult time to do it. It’s important to find someone with similar values and Christian convictions. Without that, a relationship will have a weak foundation because it’s not focused on Jesus’s ideal for relationships. Hard to find when Christian women don’t seem attracted to you.” I turned away slightly.
My friend cocked his head and narrowed his formerly cheery eyes. “Yes, yes, I believe I understand that. What’s in the cards for you, though?”
“I’m interested in someone, but it’s not really working out. I’m still trying at it.”
He slumped back in his seat. “Oh, sorry to hear that man.”
I added more crushing details, and my heart kept sinking.
“Well, keep it up man!” A* said.
“And you?” I was giving of myself in the worst way possible. The conversation sapped my energy and sent my mental state into a spin.
My friend gave me a brief story about his subtle intentions to begin dating, laid out his concerns, and low-key solicited advice. As usual, I gave it. And guess who ended up even more exhausted?
I reflect on this day, and I see a lesson written as if a loving Father seared it onto my consciousness.
I’m not your guru.
It seems obvious, doesn’t it? It should be. Yet, somehow, in the busyness and bustle and brevity of life, I take up far too much. My humanness can’t handle everyone’s problems. Still, I love other people, and I seem to love their issues too much. I exhaust myself with others.
Mis-drawn relationship boundaries keep everyone in the spaces they shouldn’t be as I stay out of my own beautiful mind and being.
However, I’m not your guru because I know I can’t handle everyone. Spending my time on other people at all times exhausts me and removes my ability to love as I should. A guru has no need for such nonsense. He or she meditates, answers life’s pressing questions, and gives his or her wisdom to all without discrimination. Not me. I’m human, and I need rest.
Moreover, I’m not your guru because my advice fails sometimes. I can’t be a consistent source of good information. My age means I lack the patience and knowledge I need to give really good tips. I do the best I can do on this blog, but it’s not enough. Not so for a guru. A guru has complete assurance in his or her own words. (S)he knows fully and gives knowledge freely. Gurus always fix others’ problems.
I’ll finish with a thought like a revelation from God’s Angel Army’s briefing room. I’m not Jesus.
(Also obvious.)
The tragicomic problem with problems is fixing problems doesn’t fix the Problem.
The Problem is Humankind’s Problem. We exist with evil and meaninglessness plaguing us. Humans shoot and send blood splattering on peaceful suburban homes. Destroy relationships for social status and pride. Seek health and wealth at the expense of people around us. Humankind’s Problem is humans can’t deal with themselves nor their lacking purpose. We don’t know what to do, so we do everything wrong.
So what do I do when I give my friend advice?
Shall I gaze into his eyes and pat his shoulder and say, “God has a plan for you, and he will give you a godly wife in his own time. Simply trust in Him. You will do fine.” I suppose I could. However, I didn’t get that from the Bible nor Jesus. It simply popped into my head. If I gave my words, would it help Humankind’s Problem? Or would it simply leave others in the same state without Jesus?
I’m not Jesus because I can’t beat Humankind’s Problem. Jesus is the answer to Humankind’s Problem. He heals the brokenness in our world, and in His Spirit, he gives us purpose. I know following Him is what God created me to do. Further, I know obeying His commands is what life should look like. It’s a good purpose.
So what shall I say when I sit across from A* overlooking our finely-crafted campus, Chick-Fil-A on our table, and summer heat hugging us like another friend?
I’m not your guru, and I’m not Jesus.
I must thank The Edges Collective again for providing fantastic inspiration for posts like these.
Creativity has been really good for me, and I want to be more creative here. So, I’m expanding, and it starts here. “I’m not your guru, and I’m not Jesus” T-shirts are available on the MyronHighsmith.com Teespring Store alongside other products.
I hope this post impacted you, and if you would like to show support, send me an email, message, or just buy merch!
‘I’M NOT YOUR GURU, AND I’M NOT JESUS’ classic T-Shirt available here and alternative version available here in black!
I want to add value to your life through MyronHighsmith.com. If you liked this and want more, follow me via. email to get posts like this one regularly.
