Smoke wanted to be excited to see The New Movie.
He put on a weary smile. It was kinda pointless. After all, he didn’t have friends. Not the sort of friends you’d see a movie with. There were the online people he chatted with and the one or two friends he knew hundreds of miles away. No one is my friend here, though.
“Babe, The New Movie will be so awesome,” Cam said. He flipped his gold-like, blond hair back and snuggled on the cushioned, two-seat couch next to Smoke with his girlfriend. The sun flooded through the paneled church Youth Room windows onto them like they were the gods everyone was supposed to worship. Everyone else fluttered into the room slowly and filled up the sofas arranged in a circle as if they were starting a group therapy session.
Cam’s girlfriend giggled and hugged him. “I can’t wait to go with you.” He knew her as Cam’s girlfriend because she had to have been the fiftieth or so in a long line of empty-headed broads to date Cam.
They kissed.
“Sweet Name of Heaven, could you even turn the PDA dial up any further? Jason’s gonna be in here soon, you know? Show some restraint,” Eric said. “Besides, you’re making Big Smoke uncomfy.” He glanced over to Smoke.
Smoke blushed. “No, uh, it’s okay.”
Cam craned his head back to Eric who was awkwardly positioned several rows back such that a screaming match was the only way the two could communicate. Cam rolled his eyes. “Love makes us uncomfortable, right? Jason keeps saying that anyways.”
The room coughed up laughter in the way someone does when a girl wants someone important to like her.
Right on time, Jason jogged down the hallway to the big Youth Room. He was thin and his voice was unauthoritative, but he was a really nice man of God. He spared no words and immediately began his lesson in 1 John 4, taught about loving each other and kindness and friendship.
And then he sat with the group for announcements. He cleared his throat. “For the Youth Retreat this weekend, there’s a small problem. Well, a small problem for me, but a big problem for one of you silly punks.” A few people booed. “Alright, alright, silly geniuses. The church is understaffed this time, and we need people to help clean up the resort Saturday night. As you know, that’s when we’re supposed to watch The New Movie, but there’s no better option. We have to leave first thing Sunday morning, and we have to leave everything spotless across five different buildings. I can’t do it alone.” He fanned himself as if he were already cleaning up.
“I chose five people already. Ray, Tim, Grace, Rosetta, and Cam, you’re up.” Before they could complain, he continued. “To make this a fun occasion to pit you kids against each other and watch the ensuing carnage, I had an idea. We’ll have a round of Bible Trivia, and I will exempt the winner from cleaning duties. See how well you’ve been listening to me, eh?”
They played, many shouted as some got questions right and others answered horribly wrong, and everyone—except Smoke—laughed the whole time. Ha-ha, so fun.
Cam lost. He lost so badly Smoke actually snickered out-loud.
Cam stared down and looked like the entire weight of Earth had fell on his head. He was really melodramatic for a seventeen-year-old.
Amusement still floated in the room from the trivia competition. Cam glanced around the room, smirked, and put his head back down. “Guys, I was really looking forward to this.” He sniffled. “I really, really wanted to watch the movie with everyone and build stronger bonds. I just don’t know… Could someone… Please, Jason?”
Jason sat silent, and his silence spread through the room like a certain pandemic not-to-be-named.
Smoke met Cam’s eyes. It was a terribly unfortunate mistake.
“Big Smoke?” His voice pleaded.
The room fixed its energy on Smoke.
See, there was only one choice in a situation like this. For some stupid reason, everyone loved Cam, and Smoke didn’t want them to hate him.
“Jason?” Smoke said.
Jason turned his head away and scratched it. “If you really want to do it…”
Seriously? That was his response?
“Please, Smoke?” Cam said.
“Fine,” Smoke whispered.
“What?”
“Fine, I said. I’ll do it!”
…
Smoke slid across the dirty gym floor like Michael Jordan flying across a basketball court for an epic dunk. He went across with the mop and back, splashed the mop in water with vigor, and repeated the process.
“There is, beyond the azure blue — A god, concealed from human sight,” Smoke sang.
He grabbed a rag from his back pocket and wiped the walls.
“Our God, whose Son upon a tree — A life was willing there to give…”
He was like Scotty Pippin except a janitor. It was pretty epic honestly. He didn’t need anyone. He didn’t need help.
His stomach twisted and grumbled, but he was fine. Just fine. Jason wanted four people for the job? He could do it alone.
Stinging tears welled in his eyes. Whatever. Who cared?
He cried. Why even bother with others? They only hurt him.
…
The bus seemed to bump, turn, and tumble more than airplane turbulence. Half of the Youth Group on board surrounded Cam and fawned over him. The other half laid exhausted or asleep from the weekend.
The hills rolled, and the sky was intense. It was brighter than a blue flame and clearer than a soul. Trees filled the land, and no human anything was near except the roads. It came together to show God’s goodness, his power, and his wonderful creation. It was like God’s beauty promised to be his friend.
Eric nudged Smoke’s side. “I, uh, I saw you.”
“You saw me…?” Smoke’s eyes widened. His head ran around itself then panicked. “You saw me.”
“Sorry,” Eric whispered.
The bus jumped again.
“I was just cleaning and I fell and I didn’t know what to do so—“
“Stop.” Eric held Smoke’s arm. “Let me apologize. I’m really sorry. I mean, I knew. We all know. We know we’re supposed to love each other and do the right thing. None of us did. So I’m sorry.”
Eric glared at Cam, but the lavish attention Cam enjoyed seemed to distract him from more important matters. “And I deeply apologize for that buffoon. He’s not as bad as he seems.”
Smoke chuckled. “Can I call him dunderhead?“
“Do it.” He laughed. “Say it to his face too. He’ll enjoy it. And, anyway, you need to stand up for yourself.”
Smoke looked away.
“Oh, sorry, I mean—“
“Do you actually know my name?”
“I figured Big Smoke wasn’t the real one.” He cocked his head. “What is it?”
“Well, this is our first proper introduction I guess.” Smoke stuck out his hand. “Hello, my name is ——“
Eric sat up and grinned. “Nice to meet you. I’m Eric, and we’re friends now.”
Q&A.
Is this fiction? Yes.
Why Big Smoke? It was a nickname someone gave to me when I first started making friends. Interpret it how you will.
Are you Big Smoke in this story? No. Big Smoke was a former nickname of mine but is a metaphor in this story.
But what does it mean? I hope it isn’t too hard to figure out. Be an Eric.
Can you stop the coyness and just tell me already? Nope. However, this context might help you understand this story.
Today’s extra article expands on a brief theme in this story—“God’s beauty as a friend.” Enjoy this interview on knowing God’s existence through the natural world and other means.
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